Culture

  • Happy 239th Birthday USA!

    Happy 239th Birthday USA!

    If you need to take a break from shotgunning Budweisers and pissing on the flags of other countries, here are a whole bunch of videos that celebrate just how fuckin’ awesome the U.S. of fuckin’ A really is! YEEEAHH VCXBhdsf udsjov Please remember to chug your beers responsibly and pass out in your buddy’s bathtub

  • Life Hacks: Born on the First of July

    Life Hacks: Born on the First of July

    I hope you don’t look too deeply into the fact that I flipped over your sofa cushions and left your party without saying goodbye to anyone. Neck tattoos: used to avoid people with them because they may be dangerous. Now I avoid them because I don’t want to hear about their vegan bicycle. CHOOSE YOUR

  • Life Hacks: Fatherhood of the Travelling Fanny Pack

    Life Hacks: Fatherhood of the Travelling Fanny Pack

    Any song improves exponentially when you replace “girl” with “squirrel” You’d think the nerds at Wizard World would be more open to me photobombing their Avengers pics as “Captain Phillips” but they weren’t. Especially when I told them that I was their captain now. I saw my shadow on Fathers Day, so it’s 6 more

  • Life Hacks: Spoiler Alert

    Life Hacks: Spoiler Alert

    Whatever happened to Slim Goodbody? Don’t tell me it was “natural causes”. I didn’t mean to gain all this weight. It happened by “snacksident”. I will never use the product of a company that utilizes a car horn in a radio commercial. Anytime CoorsMillerBud Light showcases a new can gimmick, it’s a good bet that

  • Life Hacks: Beer Week Hangover

    Life Hacks: Beer Week Hangover

    Credible Hulk, sit and write thoughtful blog about GARDENING! You could not handle my undivided attention. Who the hell talks loudly on a cellphone during a Christening? If I wasn’t holding 2 beers I would smack them! Why do we add an extra dash of stupid to our voice when we impersonate someone we know?

  • Life Hacks: Smooth Operator

    Life Hacks: Smooth Operator

    If a waiter tells me about the specials, it’s only fair I tell them why I’m special. A well timed, “You Go Girl!” Is appropriate in almost every situation. 60% of the time I’m wondering if I have melted cheese on my face or clothing. 40% of the time I’m eating something with melted cheese.

  • Life Hacks: Remembering Memorial Day

    Life Hacks: Remembering Memorial Day

    I want to be just famous enough to judge food challenges. Cheetos could have chosen any shape for their snack food product yet they went with “Medium sized turd”. I tried to win a Strongman Competition by saying that a true man of strength doesn’t need to prove his superiority to others but no, you

  • Obstacle Course Race Survival Guide

    Obstacle Course Race Survival Guide

      Obstacle Course Race Survival Guide   I’m going to keep my intro short because I know most people will just skip ahead to the tips anyway. About once a year I write one of these and each year I amend them. The more obstacle course races that you do, the more you learn. The

  • She’s Gone Already, Chief: Saying Farewell to David Letterman

    She’s Gone Already, Chief: Saying Farewell to David Letterman

    David Letterman took the stage of the Ed Sullivan theater last night for the final time. Not one for sentiment, Dave, always seeking the laugh, turned to his trademark disgruntledness, and opened by saying “I’ll be honest with you. It’s beginning to look like I’m not going to get the Tonight Show.” It could’ve been possible that Letterman